2014 was a great year for films! Unless you’re Kim Jong-Un who was really looking forward to Horns. What a disappointment for him! So – here are my top 10 films of this year:
10. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Recently divorced Lauren (Drew Barrymore) and widower Jim (Adam Sandler) go on a terrible blind date! Jim and Lauren couldn’t be more different. But when they both try and steal a holiday from their friends, they end up going ON THE SAME HOLIDAY! WITH THEIR KIDS!
9. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore reunite for the first time since their last reunion to tell the story of Jim (Sandler) and Lauren (Barrymore). Both are terrible parents because Lauren has sons (a woman raising men!!!) and Jim has daughters (what’s a period!!!!! tampons??? handbags!!! ack!). Also it’s a story of true love and parachuting.
8. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Here’s a story of a lovely lady (Barrymore) who was bringing up two very lovely boys. Both of them have ADD and hate their mother, the youngest one in curls. Here’s a story of a man named Sandler (Sandler) who was busy with three daughters of his own. He treats them like men, they miss their mother. We are all alone.
7. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Drew Barrymore (Drew Barrymore) and Adam Sandler (Adam Sandler) go on a family vacation and blend their family (editors note: this is where the title gets its name from. The blending of families. The vacation is for blended families and the movie is called Blended it DOES NOT have anything to do with the Youtube series Will It Blend).
6. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
As Drew Barrymore (Drew Barrymore) awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found herself transformed in her bed into a gigantic insect.
5. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
This film is very funny. I liked the part where Drew Barrymore TOOK THE PLACE OF ADAM SANDLER’S DEAD WIFE. DON’T WORRY GIRLS, YOUR NEW MOTHER IS HERE. Also how weird was it that no one thought to check on the coping mechanism of that one daughter who was convinced her mother’s ghost was hanging around??? Kinda dark if you ask me, a professional psychologist and part-time gymnast.
4. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Grossly overweight Jim Sherman Klump (Adam Sandler), desperate to lose weight, takes a special chemical that turns him into the slim but obnoxious Lauren Buddy Love (Drew Barrymore).
3. Obvious Child (dir. Gillian Robespierre) / Mommy (dir. Xavier Dolan)
A tie for third! I love Jenny Slate, so a film starring her AND her best friend Gabe Liedman – there was no way I couldn’t like this film. Disarmingly charming, Robespierre attempts to tackle the topic of a modern love story, sometimes things go wrong, but sometimes that’s alright. Obvious Child is funny, full of heart and just an absolute delight to watch.
Dolan’s films, I hate to admit, I wasn’t entirely familiar with. But having the opportunity to watch both Tom at the Farm and Mommy in rapid succession, it’s easy to become nauseated by how talented the TWENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD directer is. Mommy was an absurdly engaging film and was so interesting to watch because the craftsmanship Dolan exhibits against his heart-wrenching script makes for a truly unusual but absolutely brilliant viewing experience.
2. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
Directed by master auteur, Terence Malick, Blended occurs within the sneeze of a single Rhino. Malick takes us on a metaphysical narrative journey through the moments of life that occur between the moments. Like Adam Sandler pissing against a tent.
1. Blended (dir. Frank Coraci)
BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!!!!!