The Wolf of Shouting at Everyone Then Lets Do Some Drugs and Put Our Wangs In Some Prostitutes
So I saw The Wolf of Wall Street. I mean. It’s a good film. I know so many people are going to see it and love it. They’ll think it’s a great film. I just feel like I’m not those people. I think watching it, I finally figured out where my attention deficit disorder kicks in. Almost exactly 90 minutes into the movie and BOOM I just really needed to check my phone. And I usually NEVER check my phone in movies because it’s rude and no one ever texts me.
Look. Here’s the thing with The Wolf of Wall Street. There is about an hour of the film that I could happily cut out, and it would change nothing. There’d be no adverse affect on the film’s flow, meaning or statement. In fact removing some of the more repetitious content would serve to elevate a lot of that!
And I KNOW recently most of my gripes with films have been because they’ve been too long. But there are other films like Prisoners where I actually was really happy for the enormous run-time! But not when it’s as painfully repetitious as Wolf. You could defend the film by saying “oh but this is just fitting in the theme of indulgence and reflective of the lifestyle of the characters”. To which I say pah. PAH. It’s ineffective.
Here are things I would never complain about being too long:
- All-you-can-eat buffet tables
- Time spent laying really still
Here’s my list of things I would definitely complain about being too long:
- Movies for no reason
- Queues to get to all-you-can-eat buffet tables
So what’s the film about? Leonardo DiCaprio shouts at you for three hours and also cocaine is awesome and if you don’t do it you’re a loser and also chicks are basically great to put your penis inside of and how great are boobs and also money is great.
Just kidding but not really. Based on the memoir of Jordan Belfort, The Wolf of Wall Street stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort, a stockbroker who dabbles in corrupt practices on Wall Street in the 90s. The film tracks Belfort from his humble beginnings as a fresh-faced broker, following in the footsteps of his mentor Mark Hanna (played by the shrunken head of Matthew McConaughey under a Toddlers and Tiaras reject wig). Belfort soon becomes obsessed with sex, drugs and the rock and roll of hanging out with Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill). Eventually, Belfort’s debauchery attracts the attention of an FBI Agent and things begin to become tenser for the cashed up cutie in the classy suit.
BUT WAIT THERE’S SO MUCH MORE. It’s already such a massive story, which is really interesting, and the script by Terence Winter is sharp, dark and incredibly funny. But the amount of content they cover has a tranquilizing effect. Scorsese also employs every filmic device that has existed and inserts it in the film. What occurs is this frenetic vibe that mirrors the life of Belfort that so suddenly spirals out of control. Sure this is all well and good – but there’s only so much of the same ol same ol that we need to see in the film to get the idea.
Casting is perfection. DiCaprio shouts at everyone like they’re icebergs dead ahead. Jonah Hill is a brilliant kind of grotesque, I never knew if I was supposed to want him to get shot, or pull out his prosthetic penis again. Margot Robbie as Naomi Lapaglia – Belfort’s wife – is beautiful and holds her own against the giant, screaming mass of DiCaprio. And from there, there’s just piles and piles of great supporting roles. The main brokers Belfort initially hires are a rag-tag group of misfits that are so hilarious and horrible. Cameos from Rob Reiner and Joanna Lumley were also welcome as they were, and always are, excellent (CHRISTINE EBERSOLE WAS ROBBED OF MORE SCREEN TIME!!!). Also they mention Belfort had two children, but they only ever show one of them??? What happened to the other one?? Genuine question, leave me a comment or tweet me or sky-write me.
Honestly I think so many people will love this movie. It definitely wasn’t my cup of cocaine, and because of that I feel like the length really brought me down, kicked me in the face, and tried to give me a lesson on finances.
Final thoughts: Stockbroker? I don’t even know her.